Day 30 – A letter to yourself…

I hate to admit it but I thought this bloody challenge would never end… It was just a tad to ‘honest’ for me.  I can’t really say the prospect of writing a letter to myself is any more enticing but o well, let’s try.

I will write it to my 16-year-old self

26 November 2012

Dearest Teenage Altie,

I don’t really have that much to say to you except that yes, life is actually as tough as it seems but it will get better and you will learn to cope with things that seem impossible to deal with right now!  Don’t worry too much about how much you hate school because many of the people who torment you will become exactly what they deserve and you will be much cuter and thinner than them in ten years.  Don’t really worry about exams because you won’t go to university and won’t need to know the square root of 57883.22 or what ever it is they’re going to teach you in Economics and Business Economics…  Please pay attention in Home Economics though because being a goddess in the kitchen proves handy!  The other thing is you have to stop smoking (even though you will start again in your thirties) and attend PE because you will become a professional cyclist in a few years and a bit of muscle tone will help!

In 1998 you will get the urge to shave your head, please don’t do it. You get a bit fat after school and the addition of a shaved head makes you look really, REALLY kak even though you think you look very cool.  Then later you will decide to bleach this short hair do.  Please don’t.  It looks even kakker!  Don’t drink too much beer when you stay in Cape Town because you’re really going to struggle to lose all that weight in the years to come but it is a lot of fun so don’t hold back too much!

Between 1998 and 2010 I can’t find too much fault with how you keep yourself busy.  I also don’t want you to do things too different because in 2012 you are very happy and won’t want to be in a different space! The only hint I will give you about this time is that in January 2008 you will fall of your bicycle and get hurt very, very badly. Don’t worry, you’re not dying even though it feels like it.  They will give you morphine at the hospital and it will take all the pain away.  And please don’t check yourself out a day early! You’re going to need the extra day so stay put!  You will meet people who will teach you about love, life and also about pain and disappointment but overall you do well for yourself.  I don’t want to tell you what your job will be because it’s gonna be one hell of a surprise.  All I’ll say its very interesting and grosses many people out so you will love it!

Towards 2012 you will have to make very difficult decisions but trust your gut and know it’s the right thing even though it feels like these decisions will rip out the same gut telling you to do it! Time heals everything and life is beautiful! Trust, love and know yourself because you’re awesome, beautiful and strong!

Lots of love!

33 Year old Altie.


Day 29 – Something that makes you laugh till your tummy hurts

I would have to say Pinterest! It’s like a treasure chest of tasteless jokes! I often sit browsing and find stuff that make me laugh so much I end up in a crying heap behind my laptop! So here are three of my favorite Pinterest Jokes of all time!


Day 27 – If you got pregnant what would you do

This is probably what would happen:

1. I would do 10 pregnancy tests to make sure it’s not a mistake

2. Upon finding out that it’s not a mistake I will probably faint/throw up/curse/have heart failure or a combination of the four

3. And then I will then get over myself and deal with it.

I am a firm believer that nobody get’s pregnant by accident so unless God decides to punish me for my arogance I know this little surprise will not be one to brighten my day any time soon! Funny enough most of my friends actually really struggled to get pregnant so I allways wonder when those types of ‘accidents’ happen. I am also terrified of bringing a child into a relationship that is not rock solid as I have seen the most solid of relationships take strain under the crying, druling, sleepless test that is children. I also really think women often use getting pregnant as a weapon to snare or keep a man and for this they should be dragged out into the street and… Never mind…

Day 26 – What is the best thing going for you right now

Being positive. Yes I know my vomiting rainbows can sometimes get a bit much but being the way I am has attracted good things and people in my life that has made it better in every possible way! I’m not sure how the saying goes but I’m sure it’s something like you attract more bees with honey… So I guess honey and rainbows will always work better that poop and lightning bolts. The other problem with poop and lightning bolts is that you will probably attract something other and more sinister than bees… But let’s leave it there before this post gets completely out of control. I just really hope to always stay this way and never turn into a bitter, hateful, self-absorbed, shriveled up witch. That would simply be no fun now would it?